Written in December 2004 in Toronto, Ontario
Merry Xmas to my Ex-Miss
What a glorious Christmas Eve
I asked her for just one thing
And Lord, she gave it to me
How could someone be so nice
With a heart carved out of ice
Merry Xmas to my Ex-Miss
I hope Santa treats her nice
Well, I don’t remember what I saw in her
I couldn’t tell you what she saw in me
She said she’s from up near Bathurst
Some said “Likely Hub City”
Shooting from the lip with that old guilt trip
She never once let me explain
Anyone could see that her and me
Were circling the drain
Merry Xmas to my Ex-Miss
What a glorious Christmas Eve
I asked her for just one thing
And Lord, she gave it to me
How could someone be so nice
With a heart carved out of ice
Merry Xmas to my Ex-Miss
I hope Santa treats her nice
Well here I sit by my fireside
Just a looking at my Christmas tree
Thinking about my Anglo bridge who claimed she was Acadie
Well, she’s a “Ho Ho Ho”, boys there you go
And if you want her, fella, hell now, you can have her
You gotta take it from me
Honestly
She’s the original Nut Cracker
Merry Xmas to my Ex-Miss
What a glorious Christmas Eve
I asked her for just one thing
And Lord, she gave it to me
How could someone be so nice
With a heart carved out of ice
Merry Xmas to my Ex-Miss
I hope Santa treats her nice
Merry Xmas to my Ex-Miss
I hope Santa treats her nice
Because our divorce
Of course
Would be a deal at twice the price